31 Days of Becoming Me – Day 5: Reconnect with your inner child

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Russian Doll - Cargo Collective
Russian Doll – Cargo Collective

Did you know that there’s an inner child living inside of your very soul? The little you that experienced all sorts of things growing up still has a voice and influences the decisions and feelings you have on a daily basis.

See, there are all sorts of things we experience growing up – good and bad. Reconnecting with our inner child brings integration to our grown up selves. Otherwise we’re walking around with this other voice speaking into our lives, but we don’t know that she’s there or why we keep doing the things we’ve always done even when they don’t serve us well.

Think about yourself as a little child. What did you love to do? What made you come alive? 

As a child, I was so creative. I had imaginary worlds I lived in. I was always creating; art, drawing, singing and making up songs. I got lost in my creativity.

These are amazing clues as to what might feed my soul today. I still love to be creative, but as adults we often forget that we can. Especially as a mom I get bogged down in the ‘to-do’ list of motherhood. I try to be everything for my kids, keep the house clean, do ‘it all’, but there’s a limit isn’t there? There’s a point when my energy is all gone and I need to recharge and do something for me. I’m learning that I need to do this earlier and more often, so I don’t get to an emergency state. Our little girl can give us clues as to what kind of self care will really restore and bring us to life.

Think about yourself as a child. What caused you pain? What made you afraid and feel lonely?

I was an incredibly sensitive kid. So anything that was said about my sensitivity was terribly wounding for me. My feelings were hurt easily and often. I always felt like I was too much. I cried too much, talked too much, sang too much and had feelings bigger than life. This led to me going to my room to cry it out and do the only form of pain management I knew. I rearranged furniture in my room so often that my parents knew if I was angry/sad/upset/emotional that’s where I’d be.

Why look back? Well, our little girl can give us precious clues on how we manage and avoid pain. I know that if I’m getting into ‘organize’ mode or coping with busyness there’s usually something deeper I’m avoiding.

What better soul-care is there than to recognize our pain and come face to face with it? Turning our pain over to the one who can bind up our wounds and heal us. 

Facing my pain has been the biggest turning point in Becoming Me. I wouldn’t know who I am without knowing where I’ve come from. Healing can only take place when we let Jesus into the darkness. Healing gives us the freedom to be our true selves.

Take some time to journal today. Think about yourself as a small child. What were your loves, everything to your favorite cookie to your favorite activity and memory. Then think about those painful experiences you’ve pushed into the far recesses of your mind. What are those trying to tell you? Pain will keep poking at you until it’s processed. Write a letter to your younger self. Tell her what you wish would have happened, how you’re sorry she had to go through that. Then, ask Jesus to heal those wounds. I won’t guarantee the pain will go away, but I do know He will use it for healing and for His glory.

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image by Honestly Allyson
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